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Humor Column

An ode to the glory of freshmen dorms, communal bathroom and all

Xanthe Kakaras | Contributing Illustrator

Everyone ends up missing their freshman dorm. From 2 a.m. fire drills to communal showers, our humor columnist goes down memory lane.

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There are a lot of things I miss about my freshman dorm. I’m in an apartment now and noticing the stark differences between apartment and dorm life. There’s more space, fewer restrictions and I don’t even have to nervously look at my smoke detector when I light a candle.

Like most in their freshman year, I lived in a dorm. And not only that, but I was lucky to live in the only freshman dorm with communal bathrooms instead of pods. I mean, who on earth would want a private bathroom to shower in?

Personally, I prefer to shower five feet away from my peers. You know, in case I forgot my towel and need to borrow theirs (To be clear: this is a joke. I know this is a humor column, but I really need to emphasize that I never borrowed, and will never borrow, a stranger’s towel to dry myself off).

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on my experience last year. In my apartment, I have a nice living room with a pretty comfortable couch, a TV and a little dinner table that I use to do cute little things like eat dinner, do homework and sit in existential dread while wondering if college is even worth it.



I also have a kitchen to cook in (by cook I mean microwave), and my very own room that I can go to when I need space to do things like write, do self care and cry myself to sleep in crippling loneliness. Convenient, right?!

However, I miss the very limited capacity of my split double. I mean, it’s easy to make a space cozy when it’s literally five square feet. The focal point of my room was my twin bed, with enough space for maybe one small child. It was always so fun to share it with my many, many suitors that I definitely for sure had and were definitely real. I promise.

My favorite part of living in a dorm? The nighttime fire drills, of course. There’s nothing more fun than being woken up out of a deep sleep by a loud, screaming beep that sounds like Toad getting his foot run over.

Not to mention standing outside in the cold for an hour with your hallmates, one of whom is playing Pitbull out of their phone speaker for some reason, like a pulled fire alarm is potential for a fantastic party. Gosh, the memories.

Picking up packages was always fun, too. The way the front desk workers always rolled their eyes when I asked for the care package my mom sent me really made me feel at home. I mean, if someone was asking me to do the job I was being paid to complete, I’d feel inconvenienced as well! Then I got to ride the absolutely delightful elevator back up to my floor. It was like a little expedition.

Sometimes when I’m on campus, I like to walk down the hill to my old dorm and revisit these memories from last year. I’ll get a coffee, sit on a bench and maybe even go into the old lobby for a second. Then I’ll walk back up the hill and thank god that I live in an apartment.

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