Jan. 27, 2018

Dear family and friends,

Happy New Year! After watching hour upon hour of “Property Brothers,” I’ve concluded that the Sala home is in major need of updates and renovations. I’ve reached out to Drew and Jonathan about coming over and possibly taking on the project. 

There’s still no word on my pitch to become the third Property Brother. I feel what’s missing in the show is an older, wiser brother who keeps clients informed via email about the renovations on their house. Maybe I’d send them email updates while my newfound brothers and I are out for drinks, throwing back beers, reminiscing about the good old days…

“Remember that time,” I say to Drew, “you didn’t think Jonathan could make a water slide go from a bedroom to the window? And then he did, on time and under budget? Those were some fun times.”

Anyway, I’ll send another email update once I’ve made progress.

Back to our upcoming renovations: Despite the frigid temperatures, our work on several home projects is set to begin. In addition to the multitude of smaller projects, we are starting 2018 with some exciting new undertakings.

A summary of our projects includes:

Driveway promenade

About a year and a half after the construction, I think Syracuse University students are finally accepting the amount of money we paid to make a street cars can’t drive on. After this indisputable success, my next project is to build one for the Sala driveway. Yes, our cars wouldn’t be allowed on the promenade, making parking difficult, which brings me to my next project.

A new driveway

This driveway will replace the one we’re making into a promenade. Listen, we need the promenade. When Drew and Jonathan come over, they are going to want to see an impeccable walk-only driveway. But they’ll also probably want to park their cars. I’m sure they could afford to be driven, but they’re just two down-to-earth guys, so they’d probably each drive their own truck when they come to sleep over. So, we will need a separate driveway that will go into the parking garage, which reminds me…

A new parking garage

Logistically, we can’t have the new promenade in front of the current garage. It just won’t work. To fix this problem, we will have to build a new garage to go along with the new driveway. Preferably in the back, out of sight of the promenade. Alas, don’t look at this as an imposition! We would have had to expand the parking garage to fit Drew and Jonathan’s cars anyway.

I’m thinking we’ll need at least a four-car garage, just to be safe. That would be enough for my car, Drew’s Bimmer and Jonathan’s truck (he’s the rugged type). Oh, also, we are really into four-wheeling now. It’s Drew’s new thing, so we’d need room for those. Make it six. A six-car garage.

Those are just a few things we can get started on right away. I hesitate on building a guest house because Drew and Jonathan will probably want to design their own house. You know how those two are.

I did see the Johnsons are selling their house next door. Maybe we should buy the lot just in case? Let me know what you think. We’d have to decide soon: It’ll sell fast. I’ll just assume you’re a yes until you tell me otherwise.

Xoxo,

Pete Sala-Scott

Published on January 28, 2018 at 7:58 pm