Emily Krauss would say that she is in a pretty serious relationship with her boyfriend of over two years, Jason Scofi.

They’ve talked about the future many times. And even have preliminary post-college plans.

‘It’s only been two years, but it’s pretty serious; we’re pretty committed. I’m on a pre-med track … so we’ve been talking about living together while I’m in school,’ the sophomore psychology major said. ‘We have definitely talked about being together.’

Krauss is one of the few college students who decided to continue a high school relationship in college. The couple began their relationship in November of their senior year of high school.

Nothing seems to be getting in their way, not even the 300-plus miles between them.

Krauss is not the only one using the phone and Internet video chat to keep her relationship healthy – in fact, 25-40 percent of college relationships are long distance, according to a study by CosmoGirl.

With advances in communications technology, those relationships are lasting longer.

Scofi goes to the University of Maryland, College Park, but despite the distance, he and Krauss are able to maintain a healthy relationship, through talking on the phone often and utilizing communication tools like webcams. Though no communication tools are quite like the real thing.

‘It’s hard not being able to, at the end of a stressful day, just sit down and talk to him face to face,’ Krauss said. ‘On the phone is not the same. Just to be able to sit down and have a hug and just feel better, but it sucks at the end of the day.’

Tracey Reichert Schimpff, clinic supervisor of the Goldberg Center for Marriage and Family Therapy at Syracuse University, said that while long -distance relationships are very challenging, especially at the college age, it could work.

There are just many obstacles.

‘If it’s something that matches and works for them, then they can work together and support each other,’ she said. ‘They can mutually grow together.’

Elise Glisci, a sophomore advertising design major, is also involved in a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend of almost three years, but he is two years older than her.

The question of staying together in college wasn’t really a question, because the majority of their relationship occurred while he was in college at the State University of New York at Oswego.

Although only 40 minutes away, the couple sees each other about once a month due to busy schedules, but they integrate each other into their own separate college lives.

‘He lives with five other guys, when I’m there I talk to him,’ she said. ‘And when he used to visit me, he’s friends with my friends and friends with my friends at home.’

The long-distance college relationship didn’t work out for everyone, though. Sophomore Mikayla Calkins said she was annoyed with constantly going home at 9 p.m. and talking on the phone with her now-ex-boyfriend, whom she dated for two and a half years.

‘I felt like I hadn’t done anything with college, because all I was doing was talking on the phone,’ she said.

Calkins said she started to not miss her boyfriend, who attended Northeastern University in Boston, because after a while she got so used to not seeing him. While they were dating, the couple had seen each other once every five weeks.

Also, the length of their relationship added pressure to Calkins; she felt like she was already settling down, long before she actually wanted to settle down.

‘I felt like I was making plans for the rest of my life, and that scared me,’ she said.

Now single, Calkins said she feels like she isn’t tied down and has no romantic obligations to anyone. Also, she said that she feels like she’s rediscovering a part of her that was hidden beneath forced late-night phone calls and the constant need to share every last aspect of her life with someone.

Reichert Schmpiff said the common problems in a young relationship tend to be trust and infidelity issues. A university with a large social student body can cause someone in a couple to branch away.

Despite the challenges of being in a serious relationship at a young age, Krauss wouldn’t trade her relationship for anything, even though she says she knows it isn’t easy.

‘A few months ago he said something like, ‘You really are my best friend,’ and it feels good to have something, that closeness to somebody, on a friendship level, and then to be romantically involved. It just really makes me smile at the end of the day and it’s a really positive thing,’ Krauss said.

kaoutram@syr.edu

Published on February 11, 2009 at 12:00 pm